Monday, 18 August 2014


i'm back in flatland after a whirlwind visit to utopia, aka the white rabbit residency and open air art festival at red clay studios in upper economy, nova scotia, where i spent a week living and loving on a scale higher than i can remember ever happening before. it's hard for me to describe, especially as i shift back to functioning within normal society (not the easiest, especially given the amount of overstimulation from things reliant on electricity and groups of people larger than thirty). i think that maybe i can't express how much it meant to me, because i don't have the vocabulary for it. the verbal  vocabulary, at least. i have the physical sense memory of emotions and feeling love so strong and vividly for people who were strangers hours beforehand that my heart seemed to want to explode out of my ribcage. and staring at people directly in the eye for the length of a conversation and truly being present for the whole thing and feeling a visceral reaction to the stories they shared. and falling in love so so so easily with so many people in little and not-so-little ways. and then having to return to the rest of my life after that experience, and not really knowing how to do that, and feeling totally overwhelmed by so much sadness and loss and longing, and crying into my friend's arms on his doorstep, and then thinking to myself, i have lived so much in the past week, and that is why this hurts so much, and that is not a bad thing. 

i stopped taking real photos at a certain point - i'm not sure exactly where or why - but you can see quite a few others on instagram as well. and we had a truly wonderful pair join us to provide documentation of all the projects, so once i receive that material, i'll share what i can with you. and you can check out white rabbit's own photos from the week here. in the meantime, here are some photos of my week as a rabbit, and some of the beautiful people i shared it with. the theme of my week seemed to be remnants, of various sorts, physical and otherwise. read into that as you will.

xo ash

my beautiful friend, sara. 

hitchhiking home with this goofball.

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